Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2
Posted: 29 Jan 2014 00:46
Theta
- Okay I think that's good enough, Command: check the damage
A dedicated forum founded by Mateusz Skutnik, creator of world famous Submachine and several acclaimed point-and-click flash games.
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Okay I think that's good enough, Command: check the damage
COMMAND: Wait for him to burn up and see if any cards or something survived
English isn't exactly my strong language, though I try to make it clear and error-free as possibleThe English falters in some areas. It is probably not your first language, so I can't blame you, but it can get a little distracting at times
I try to make them as natural and smoothly-flowing as possible. I do notice some "off-of-rhythm" flows in some of reactions and dialogues. The only reactions that are intentionally "off" are (surprises) humor bits and skitsThe characters' reactions can seem a little off at times.
The cuteness isn't all appearance. It also about how the character acts When cute characters act seriously, then then tone is more serious than cute. At least, that's my opinions. And personally, I would make a run for it rather than stand still, cuss out loud, and get yourself kill in split second. Of course, Doctor Dodd isn't the type to quick-kill someone.The cute appeal comes through loud and clear, but that can't really be prevalent in darker scenes, like Doctor Dodds operation room. Personally, I think the average person's reaction to having the lights come on would be to curse up a storm and lose my lunch.
Thanks it may not suppose to overtake MSPA as epic "forum story" of the internet, but I like knowing that awesome readers like you enjoyed its substances well, at least I hope it has substances.That doesn't mean I didn't like it though. It's definitely one of the more entertaining ones I've read in my time, and as a browser of the MSPA adventure subforum, that's saying something.
I prepared about at least 50% of artworks before I start a chapter, mainly the environments and few of characters' sets of poses. That's one of reasons why I am pumping them out so fast of course, that doesn't count for many of drama, plot, and humor scenes which takes some time to develop (biggest example would be the epic Doctor Dodd sequence)The art is nice, especially considering you pump these things out so quickly and efficiently.
Remember, sometimes AK can only work with the COMMANDS he gets lol .. >_>The characters' reactions can seem a little off at times.
Personally, I love the contrast between a chibi-furry duo and a full of blood and guts. But in the story/world "realism" is subjective.. I mean whats the extent of being "awakened" and all sorts of excuses are possible lol.The cute appeal comes through loud and clear, but that can't really be prevalent in darker scenes, like Doctor Dodds operation room. Personally, I think the average person's reaction to having the lights come on would be to curse up a storm and lose my lunch.
Do you ever prepare some dialoque/poses that you don't actually get used? Like you anticipate a command that just doesn't come up by chance? It'd be interesting if you included those in the post-chapter sketches section. One I can think of is maybe.. Maddox testing out the lighter+welder and the spray paint can, prior to the Doctor Dodd scene? The only possible thing I might bring up, which you may have already come up with, is to avoid being the first post on the page? So people can back track to the last page they saw, if they missed some, so they don't get spoilers right in their face D: I got Doctor Dodds lab reveal too early that way, but still got the "HOOOOOOOOLY CRAP" factor lolI prepared about at least 50% of artworks before I start a chapter, mainly the environments and few of characters' sets of poses. That's one of reasons why I am pumping them out so fast [:D] of course, that doesn't count for many of drama, plot, and humor scenes which takes some time to develop (biggest example would be the epic Doctor Dodd sequence)
I usually get spoilers from starting on the backpage too, but -ak-'s just that good of a storyteller.I got Doctor Dodds lab reveal too early that way, but still got the "HOOOOOOOOLY CRAP" factor lol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unbreakable_(film)Command: Ask how he is invincible like Bruce Willis in the movie Invincible
like the LADDER sequence??? HUN hun???That's one of reasons why I am pumping them out so fast of course, that doesn't count for many of drama, plot, and humor scenes which takes some time to develop
And this story took a lot of months of polishesI usually get spoilers from starting on the backpage too, but -ak-'s just that good of a storyteller.
That one took a while to make I just couldn't say NO to that onelike the LADDER sequence??? HUN hun???
I knew you would like it! and I loved what happened to the LADDER / rocket ladderI just couldn't say NO to that one